Will You Bring My Baby Home?

November 23, 2018

By Sanda Rathamone

Will You Bring My Baby Home?
by Sanda Rathamone

God, do you hear me?
Do you hear my cries?

I am crying out to you,
asking 'Where is my baby?'
My pillows yellowed with tear stains,
aged with prayers to fill my womb.
My body, an empty vessel,
deserted and unwanted.

God, do you feel my pain?
Do you feel the depth of my wound?

There are scars in my womb
that will not heal.
My baby left me, wondering
'Have I done something wrong?'
Was I not quite ready?
Did he not feel safe?

God, do you see me?
Do you see what I have done?

Through the bleak and the cold,
I march on when the wind is blaring.
My heart is not graceful,
I promise it is gentle and strong.
My heart aches for strength
as I solider on without my baby.

God, where is my baby?
Where is my baby to love?

There is this love that has
nowhere to go.
This love belongs to the baby
I once held, dead in my arms.
Why has my baby abandoned me,
to love silently and alone?

God, am I still a mother?
Am I still the mother of my baby?

My world is full of grey,
grey clouds and grey skies.
One day I am a mother who lost,
another I am a woman with no child.
Who am I now that my baby is gone,
silent, still, and forever?

God, will I ever hold my baby?
Will I ever hold my baby in my arms?

I am crying out to you,
help me heal my womb.
A box full of prayers,
all for the baby you held and hold in your hands.
My arms are full of heavy tear-stained emptiness,
they ache and tremble as I cry out to you.

God, will you bring my baby home?

With love,

Must Read:
Read the full story about Elijah:
Elijah's Story: From Gender Reveal To A Spontaneous Delivery

Photo: maxpixel

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