Day 13: Photo of Your Urn or Memorial Site

August 13, 2017

By Sanda Rathamone

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 13

"When a baby is born, it's a mother's instinct to protect the baby. When a baby dies, it's a mother's instinct to protect their memory." 

This two-and-one photo of Elijah's urn and memorial site is one of my favorites. It was actually my husband who took this photo; I had the hardest time getting both his urn and tree in one, clear picture.

Sometimes, I feel that Elijah's urn is so plain and doesn't offer much comfort on the eyes. However, Elijah's urn was free of charge from the mortuary (after paying the expense of cremation). I feel that the urn looks a little cold and aloof - if that even makes any sense - and it doesn't look like an urn for an angel, moreover, a baby. I would have imagined something more welcoming and gentle for child that "never lived."

I might even purchase a new urn and customize it with his name, even though Elijah's ashes are no longer in it. (We released his ashes as a special journey for the both of us.) I just feel that for something to encase the remains of Elijah should be something personal and well thought of and that it should express the beauty of our love for our son. If I do happened to purchase a new urn for Elijah, I might make it a creative project and put things it in to remember him. And of course, keep this urn as the original keepsake. To read about Elijah's ash release, click here.

The unique thing about Elijah's memorial site is that it isn't the typical place you would go to honor a departed loved one. Elijah's memorial site isn't a burial, but a planting, which makes it all the more a happy and hopeful place. I loved that we picked Elijah's Tree and planted it in a public, but special place. Not very many can say that they planted a tree for their child, yet, more should be able to!

Planting a tree is not only to remember our son, but also for the benefit of all - a giving back to Mother Earth who constantly gives us everything we need - and encouraging clean air for humans and animals. 

With the amount of deforestation that is rapidly and currently happening, we all should and need to plant more trees!

I also hope that someday, Elijah's Tree will grow very tall and full of leaves that it will house many birds and give us some shade by the time we are in our fifties, rejoicing in the memory of our beloved son and how hard we have worked to grow something very valuable on earth. To read more about Elijah's Tree Planting Journey, click here.


To read more about my 30 Day Writing Challenge For Stillbirth Mothers, click here.
Please let me know if you would like to join and I will include you in my final thoughts about this writing challenge in a blog post on Aug 31, 2017

Don't forget to hashtag: #30DayWritingChallengeForStillbirthMothers

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